Andrew, these poems come too fast
I'm afraid that I
will find out that they're all that has been
keeping me alive
and when I can't think of another one
that I will die

*

Andrew, these poems come too fast
I feel like someone
is racing to get it all down
before my life is done
and that perhaps they know something
that neither of us does

*

I'm starting to come to pieces
in my own hands
Andrew, if you'll come for me
I think I can stand
still until you get here
I won't let them in
I won't tell them anything
I won't give in

*

isn't there a name for this?
isn't there a way
of talking about
all the things
that we do every day?

*

Your mind fades in and out on you
and you are never sure
who's standing there in front of you
and who's walked out the door
if this is the same place you were last night
or years before

But I think that it might be
a way to live a life:
all your moments broken at your feet
as if you've finally conquered time

*

I came here early
to do this
and I'm still
on my own time
so if you wouldn't mind
please step away
so I can see the light

*

keeping secrets
is a talent
that it pays to cultivate
if they can't see
what they're shooting
its harder to shoot straight

*

up all night again
but that is no surprise, I guess
unless you were
one of the ones
who used to think
that I knew best

*

Andrew Shelley
won't you tell me
the answer, if you know it?

a year later
and I still don't know
which way I should go yet

but you are such
a generous friend
I can't believe you'd keep it

secret, if you had
any clue that I
might ever need it

so maybe I don't
want to know
but maybe the reason

you haven't told me
is that you don't
know the answer, either.

*

Sylvia Plath
can kiss my ass
I write harder
and shoot farther
without the luxury
of going crazy

*

Andrew Shelley
although I know you think
you're a beginner

if you can find the heart
to run this race
I think you'd win her

*

Andrew Shelley
won't let me be
whenever I try to sleep

he sneaks in with
another idea
or something else to see

*

sometimes I want to turn it off
but then there is the question:
whether that's smart, if you don't know
how to turn it on again?

*

please be with my brother
please be with my friends
please be with everyone
I haven't met yet

*

I slept all afternoon
and then I couldn't sleep
when I actually wanted to
so now I'm writing these

*

you don't know who I am
and that's fine with me
because if you knew who I was
you might notice me leaving

*

I am totally insane
I don't know how to stop
all these poems that come to me
like rocks falling from mountaintops

*

up again all night last night
but I guess that is no surprise
to anyone who's ever caught me
looking at the sky

*

there has been a lot of death
in my family
it doesn't really seem fair
that I am still living

*

do you ever get terrified
for what seems like no reason?
I've lived with this fear all my life
and it isn't leaving

*

I'd like to pretend that I've been
innocent from the start
but I'm afraid I've always been
a terrorist in matters of the heart

*

you could have any girl you want
and you want every one of them
but I wasn't born for this
so please leave me out of it

*

It's not really a matter
of who you'd rather have
more like who you can stand
and you're not afraid to ask

*

Standard Federal
may be too smart for me
I think they may have noticed
that I want something
for nothing

*

I have trouble
throwing away
the things you gave to me
I try to remember
the ones that matter most
no one can see

*

I guess I was wrong about you
but I can never see
the difference between who a person is
and what they mean to me

*

I wonder if I'll find a home
for any of these little poems
and if someone asks them to stay
I wonder if they're runaways

*

it's just the season, baby
its just the empty house
its just the way the birds cry
as they fly south
it doesn't mean a thing
by the light of day
its just something to write down
and then throw away

*

nobody deserves him
haven't you seen him run?
haven't you seen him stammer?
haven't you seen him drunk?

haven't you seen him hesitate
before he goes in
as if he knows how hard it is to say
the things you haven't said?

*

Lord you'll help me wake up
Lord you'll help me sleep
you'll help me with all the promises
I'm scared to keep

*

he only wrote
two good poems
in his entire life
and they are the ones
that are anthologized

*

I feel like Graham Greene in this coat
I feel like the things I know
could bring down an empire
if I weren't a damn liar
if I got to choose who I love

*

he's not with me
as you can see

*

you don't need a rhyme
you don't need a reason
you just need to know
that she was only nineteen

*

Warn Defever
doesn't need her
he'll do fine
passing time
by skipping all his pennies
down the river

*

try again
and after that
try another time
and if that
doesn't work
go on down
the line

*

if that kid comes over here
I'm going to shoot him dead
I'm sure it's the least he deserves
for everything he's said

*

I'm just listening to the station
no one else knows how to tune in
I learn all the songs I hear
and then sing them back to them

*

I don't usually have this problem
It's just because you are here
and so somehow it seems as though
there is so much less to fear

*

don't be stupid
don't be scared
don't forget
I'm always here

*

what's that ring upon your finger
what's that gleam in your eye
what's the sudden hesitation
when you know you're going to die?
Tell me dear the combination
to the locker where you left
all the things that you would later
claim that you'd already said
but you never breathed a word-
not to me, or anyone-
no one but the goddamn birds
ever knew what you had done
all the birds, and God himself
but none of them ever told
not until the lights burnt out
not until the trail was cold.

*

Andrew Rose
doesn't know
where he'll be tomorrow

*

they tried to make life hard for him
but he would have none of it
he just unfolded his wings
and learned to rise above it

*

it may not even matter
if this is a dream
even if you aren't
this love I feel is real

*

I leave a poem under this rock
so that, when you get home
even if no one else is here
you'll know you're not alone.

*

Shane I hope you're not pretending
there was nothing you could do
this love may be never-ending
but I've learned to live without you

*

It was something
he could never
bring himself to talk about:
what it felt like
to watch that light
finally burn out

*

I'm just going to let it go
and see where it falls
all the time I spent holding on
didn't help at all
everything slipped through my hands
that I thought I held dear
but somehow I find
everything that I need
is still here

*

this is that same game where I
borrow a pen
and forget how to use it
and fall in love instead

*

Andrew Rose
I'd like to know
what you're doing this evening
I hope you're not serious
about your threats of leaving
but I'd like to see the day
we both get free

*

All the evidence is lost
all the history
all the things that at the time
seemed important to me
the only thing I get to keep
is my memory
losing used to make me crazy
tonight I just feel free

*

anything that you write down
anyone can see
so you might want to take care
about the things you send to me

*

you don't write me poetry
or you don't let me see it
and that might bother me
if I were a girl that needed it

*

you take your chances
when you send me poetry
its not as if I can help it
as if I couldn't see
the winter moving in so fast
the flowers fading out
the questions I know I should ask
to relieve my doubt
the path down to the river
that's covered now with leaves
the river that mutters all day
in a language I don't speak
under these circumstances
you can't say you weren't aware
that there might be consequences
for sounding like you care

*

everything I want
everything I need
and everything
caught in between

*

can't you tell
that something else
isn't going to help?

*

there are so many things
you never bothered to ask
like how I found the strength
to crush my skull with my own hands

*

the Lord made the land
but everywhere I've been
they're trying to pretend
man did it

*

it's not as if
when I leave earth
I leave anything on it
day or night
life or death
I've never been without them

*

all the rivers turn to mirrors
but too far away to see
anything reflected in them
but the sun that blinds me

*

I think I have
been on a plane
with this guy before
he's the one
who tried to tell me
there aren't pilots anymore

*

Andrew I hope that you have
a good weekend back in town
I'm glad to know when I get home
that you'll still be around

*

I'm not sure there is such a thing
as uneven meter
but if you can prove it to me
then I would like to meet her

*

the last night we spent together
was on my birthday
but each year, I still seem
to get older anyway

*

there's no place I'd rather be:
watching TV in New York City

*

what did I think I was doing
coming all this way
just to prove I take my chances
just to see a face
just to get a little closer
or a bit farther away
with my ticket, and nothing else
I get on the plane home today

*

look at all the lights down there
what do they all mean?
and if we can never guess
why can we see them?

*

Detroit, Detroit
please wait for me
along the river
I know the girl that you once loved
is gone, and that you miss her
but she is coming back
her bags are empty
but her heart is full
and that is all you can offer
to a city of ghosts

*

and some of us you let go down
into despair, into the dust
your promises never remembered
until we are no longer us

*

I did, Lord, you know I believed
but I believed in the wrong things
I believed in a lot of dreams
and promises from magazines
but Lord, some of the things you said
I've never seen come true
please prove to me that in a heart
nothing is impossible for you

*

they say you can give a new heart
this one was rotten to the core
and by your grace restored
and then broken once more
by my own hands
by my own fault
with my own full knowledge
and so I drop it at your feet
a sparrow as it falls

*

the beggar with the mat walked out
into a world of terrors
into a world in which he must now
look at men eye to eye
into a life from which he now knew
he could never die

*

this is the fear of the Lord:
that your heart will burst from gladness
that the light will strike you blind
and your soul go mad with panic
that you will find yourself a stranger
in the promised land
that once they are unbound
you won't know your own hands

*

Lord where did this dread come from
when you have been here all along
when even buried in the snow
yours is the only name I know?

*

I'm working on something
even I can't remember
I promise myself everything
will be different in December

*

mother if you need to go
I would understand it
your body is nothing
but a liar and a trap

*

our country is a dream
that we all dream together
for some of us the dream is sweet
for some of us its bitter
for some of us the dream is dark
for some of us its light
but we must be careful
not to wake to endless night

*

just a little of the usual trouble
getting out of bed
remembering which foot to put where
and the life I've led

*

put it in my pocket
threw my pocket in the sea
and hoped that,
in a year or so,
it would come back to me

*

and here's another bb
for the days that we had those
and what we'll do without them
no one really knows

*

I guess it was pretty clean
for what it had been through
but Lord knows that the rest of us
had been through something, too

*

I hope it's not true that
these deaths come in threes
but if it is, instead of taking
one of them, take me

*

but the Lord will not batter
that's how you know he is the Lord
the smoldering wick he will not snuff
the bruised reed he restores

*

I wish I were just
a pretty girl
and easier
to come home to

*

I don't really want to
cry anymore
and that is why I don't
call upon the Lord

*

although I hope I'm wrong
I think its fair that you should know this:
in some rare cases, this world never
snaps back into focus

*

hey beautiful
it's nothing new
that anyone should want you
for the way you look
but what about
the way you feel?

*

if it was a fake
I can't say that it was cheap
she just walked in
and then fell asleep

*

darling if you're somewhere
in this crowd
be kind and don't try
to find me now

*

death is like a dog
that has tasted blood
and now that it has had it once
can never get enough

*

you might beat a disease
but you can't beat death
no matter what else you survive
you can't survive it

*

I'd like to lie for a night in your arms
and know for certain none of this is real
and watch the clouds as they roll past the stars
and even if for just a moment feel
like what I have might be of any worth
like I am not alone here on this earth

*

I fought so hard for you
but it wasn't worth it
because what did I do
but trade my hope for ashes

*

but our family keeps slipping away
no matter how clear and bright the days
we fade back to the cities that we come from
still strangers, all our best tasks undone
but one: when one of us calls out
the others come

*

I don't think I can fight
any more tonight
I'll just have to hold my breath
until it gets light

*

you always know everything:
even when you can't see me
you always know when to turn
and catch me looking

*

Vincent, I meant it when I said
you were the best among your sisters
and if there were better
then history must have missed her.

*

I want to bind you to me
with promises you can't keep
as if, when you break them
I'll have the right to weep

*

I don't feel good
I don't feel bad
I just feel like
an empty bag

*

I need to run out to the car
and grab just a few things
before all of the birds
figure out that I can sing

*

you understand: I never wanted
to learn to live without you
but you can learn so many things
and I am learning how to

*

I'm afraid that I am sick
and so I can't see
anybody who means
anything to me

*

I'd like a little painting
of another place
one I'll never get to
but that I can't escape

*

that house kept me from dreaming
but now that I am here
I find that all my dreams
are of the things I fear

*

I guess it doesn't matter
when you come and when you go
but if you get any sadder
I would like to know

*

your mother says
its not your country
but you know better
every place is your country
if you know how to get there

*

it's that same fever
from years ago
that's been hiding out in my blood
as if I didn't know

*

it's like being in heaven again
to be in your arms
even though that isn't really
where we are

*

my little boat has
floated so far out and
the winds that blow now
aren't the kind
that take you back to land

*

talking to myself again
making all the rounds
of all of the places that I
know you can't be found

*

why should I write a long poem
when I can write a short one?
look how far I'll get
before you are done

*

I've been going to bed
at a reasonable hour
for so long I think I'm
finally learning how

*

now we know what's wrong
but that doesn't mean
that we have found a way
to make it right again

*

you ought to be dead
not walking around
saying the things you've said
in some other town

*

Nana I miss you
but I hope you're happy now
I went looking for you
but you weren't at your house

*

I want all the doors
to always be open
I want you to know
that I wasn't joking

*

there was something
a little scary
about the two of them
you could see
they didn't need anything
after they met

*

I can't do it tonight
I can't do it tomorrow
I can't do it yesterday
I guess I better take it slow

*

a century of p-r-o-
g-r-e-s-s
and after that
we've got no idea
where we're going next

*

because I love George Washington
because the world is round
because I don't know anyone
in this no-man's town

*

Andrew Shelley, and
Andrew Rose, and
beyond that,
you never know

*

A-R-
T-I-
F-I-C-I-A-L
like the
way you
busted out of ja-il

*

other people have come up
with this strategy before
but I've got to say, I think I
do a little more

*

don't ask me about my heart
you don't want to know it
and I've got my hands full
trying not to show it

*

thank you for playing
the piano yesterday
I know it was scary
but it sounded pretty

*

I'm building this world
so you can see why
I'm not like all the other girls
that you see walk by

*

he could die
any day
he doesn't care
what the priest has to say

*

don't go crazy baby
unless you have to
its not the sort of thing
you should aspire to

*

you're mine tonight
don't open up your eyes
some things are better
if you never
see the other side

*

it's crooked
I know
but it's time
for us to go

*

I think its true you saved my life
but I don't know what that means
except that I am yours
anytime you need me

*

look at that old man
coming back our way
even though I told him
I wasn't going to play

*

its hard to believe you said
everything you ever meant
using something as fragile
as the alphabet

*

it's not hard for me
to write these poems
not nearly as hard
as it is to come home

*

it really bothers him
that she has slept
with other men

*

she wore that jacket all winter
and after it was done
she put it out to live
the rest of its life in the sun

*

don't worry pretty
we'll find a place for you
and when we do
all of the girls
will wish that they were you

*

Andrew Rose, would you like
a typewriter of your own?
or do you borrow ours
to make sure you're not alone?

*

I'm feeling like
the end of the world
even though I'm just
another girl

*

It's no use being afraid
no matter how we feel
the good Lord already gave us
everything we need

*

I owe you a lot
I will never pay
for things that we both forgot
that very day

*

everything is
a mistake
except that
the world was made

*

If you don't really believe it
why would you write it down?
it's one of the things I worry about
when you're not around

*

I had no idea
how cold it could be
nobody else knows
what you mean to me

*

I am an idiot
but not that kind
I'll just come back
some other time

*

people haven't changed a lot
since this was written
we're not even any better
at keeping things hidden

*

what does mother mean?
the ground under our feet, or
the sky overhead

*

Emily Dickinson
married Jack Nicholson
and they both
drank themselves blind
thirty years later
he dated the maid
while she practiced
being unkind

*

tell me again
all those things that you said
back when I still
believed them
I know they're not true
but that doesn't mean
that I don't need them

*

Robert Pollard
used to holler
every time he saw me
now he just
walks on by
as if he feels guilty

*

ecstasy's a category
some of us
remember well
the same way that
some of us
remember hell

*

that man knew me better
than any before
but he could never remember
what he'd come here for

*

of course the first piece
is never what it seems
that's how you can comfort yourself
by hoping it's a dream

*

we are all unlucky
but we're doing fine
because we can call home
for a lousy dime

*

California
I adore you
nobody knows why
but nobody ever flew
by looking at the sky

*

I would like to be different
but I don't know how
so many of the dreams I had
are smoke or echoes now

*

I'll fill your box
with poetry
and when the wall falls down
nobody will really wonder
why we're not around

*

the railroad that runs down the hill
the cars that pass while you're asleep
and all of the other things
that make life bearable for me

*

the birds in the sky
want to know why
you love me the way that you do
no matter how far
wherever they are
they know where they're going to

*

everyone is forgiven
for everything they've done
if you can believe it
if you'll run

*

all my dreams
are dreams of you
but there was nothing
we could do
the Lord had set
the stars in place
so long before
I saw your face

*

and of course you were right my dear
no matter what I said you'd hear
the things that I really meant
despite what I'd pretend

*

all that love
wasn't enough
but you'll always
be my hero
for breaking all
our promises
when I couldn't
let go

*

on any given day
you break my heart
a dozen ways

*

I am afraid of all the good things
I can see ahead
they can take anything from you
until you are dead

*

what is true love?
I don't know
at least I made it
to the show

*

you're not home yet
down the street
but I walk around
hoping I'll meet
the ghost of who I thought you were
last evening

*

I didn't write this poem for you
above the flooded town
as the night closed in
even though the rain poured down

I didn't write this poem for you
as the dark water rose
I only thought about the light
that tells me that you're home

*

these wind chimes ring on and on
whether I can sleep or not
they tell me where you have gone
and I tell them they must be wrong

*

you broke my heart so thoroughly
nothing made any sense to me

*

this great river the road
seems to know where I should go

*

its not something you can expect
someone to understand
but I have always wanted
to drown in sight of land

*

the walls always
beat with my heart
and its worse
since we're apart

*

you're so beautiful
when you sleep
you make everything else
seem cheap

*

Lord I am everything you know I am
and everything you know I'm not
but please help me to remember
the things that I forgot

*

I'm still not any good
at this kind of thing
they cut out your heart
then expect you to sing

*

people say my life is hard
I don't let it bother me
I'm just glad they'll never see
the things I had to see

*

everything is forgiven
but you don't have to come back home
I think we both know that
it was never your own

*

I don't know
what time it is
I only know
who I miss

*

buy my tickets
keep a secret
in case you
should ever need it

*

I write these poems
for all of us
so someday they'll know
how it was

*

suddenly
everything
is moving so fast
I can't even
remember
what I was going to ask

*

I can see the bad things coming
but I can't stop them
it's this world's very special way
of playing with my head

*

what's real is what I wrote down
and not this ugly town

*

stop asking me
not to forget
all of the things
I love the best

*

death is all around us
singing in the wires
floating down the river
waiting till we're tired

*

I am like a machine
but a machine
that can dream